I wonder

Am I allowed to be this happy? It sounds corny as, but I am (still) in that stage of pinching myself, and alternately worrying whether I deserve this happiness. I've been such a shit in the past. So here is something that is good and solid and bloody exciting, and there are shadows of myself that will me to be jealous, to fret and doubt. But mostly I am good. Sometimes still a little scared, but mostly hopeful. :)
I've had four wonderful weeks of work, feeling almost like I was at home...
In fact, everything feels kind of cool and beautiful. Autumn is almost like a gift after a sweaty and often un-sunny summer.