strange tic

so there's this girl, right? and she has rather an amazing life - full of good things in the present and full of a warm and keening nostalgia for the past. Things are going swimmingly, yet she has this mad tic that makes her do things to fuck up. The tic last night was to read emails that weren't mine- because i'm a dick.

I thought, throughout this year with B that i had become a better person. And in many ways I have - no more cheating, no more lying, trying to talk about stuff even when it's difficult, but the truth is I'm not so good at talking after all, because if I were, I'd just say what's on my mind and not snoop.
I've been burned once already this way- what the fuck was I expecting.

Humble and pissed off at myself.