it has been dark for what seems like a long time.
winter, while warm has blanketed me with an unwelcome stillness and a solitude that teeters on the edge of loneliness in an entirely unfamiliar fashion.
Eddie and i are flatmates now. We do what we want, when we want, although this mostly means Ed. Wakes me when he wants, sleeps where he wants, and when he freaks out over the vacuum he either runs full tilt into the closed door, or finds refuge in my undies drawer. It's a good life. For both of us really.
i have kept company with rick castle, jax teller and walter white in the past few months, to keep my mind occupied and away from wallowing in self pity, and mostly it has worked.
I had a good conversation with a friend today who counseled me not to feel special in this wintering. She said at this time of year we all rest too much, and eat too much and try to avoid the dark.
And then this afternoon, just when I needed it most - a most unexpected message from afar. Dear news from Christchurch and a renewed connection. It pulled me through the afternoon with smiling.
When I got home I changed and fixed a gin and ginger tonic and waited for M to arrive. I had a spare ticket to Suzie Miller's Dust at the Heath Ledger and to be honest had run out of contacts to turn to. But I needn't have worried. M's good at talking, I'm a good listener, and the play was good. Not great, and I loved the set more than the action, but the idea behind it was interesting. And the memory of red dust was interesting.
And when we pulled up in front of the house, I worried again, needlessly. All he said was -will you come to the optometrist with me? -
As I shut the gate behind me, already hearing Ed's I'm hungry meows from inside, I looked up and there were stars in the darkness, and shiny gumleaves licked with rain and a beautiful stillness. And for the first time in a long time, when I walked into the apartment my first move was not to turn on a show, or pick up a book. My first move (after dispensing a handful of biscuits to shut Ed up) was to just sit. And now write.
There is a tentative peace.
Goodnight.
winter, while warm has blanketed me with an unwelcome stillness and a solitude that teeters on the edge of loneliness in an entirely unfamiliar fashion.
Eddie and i are flatmates now. We do what we want, when we want, although this mostly means Ed. Wakes me when he wants, sleeps where he wants, and when he freaks out over the vacuum he either runs full tilt into the closed door, or finds refuge in my undies drawer. It's a good life. For both of us really.
i have kept company with rick castle, jax teller and walter white in the past few months, to keep my mind occupied and away from wallowing in self pity, and mostly it has worked.
I had a good conversation with a friend today who counseled me not to feel special in this wintering. She said at this time of year we all rest too much, and eat too much and try to avoid the dark.
And then this afternoon, just when I needed it most - a most unexpected message from afar. Dear news from Christchurch and a renewed connection. It pulled me through the afternoon with smiling.
When I got home I changed and fixed a gin and ginger tonic and waited for M to arrive. I had a spare ticket to Suzie Miller's Dust at the Heath Ledger and to be honest had run out of contacts to turn to. But I needn't have worried. M's good at talking, I'm a good listener, and the play was good. Not great, and I loved the set more than the action, but the idea behind it was interesting. And the memory of red dust was interesting.
And when we pulled up in front of the house, I worried again, needlessly. All he said was -will you come to the optometrist with me? -
As I shut the gate behind me, already hearing Ed's I'm hungry meows from inside, I looked up and there were stars in the darkness, and shiny gumleaves licked with rain and a beautiful stillness. And for the first time in a long time, when I walked into the apartment my first move was not to turn on a show, or pick up a book. My first move (after dispensing a handful of biscuits to shut Ed up) was to just sit. And now write.
There is a tentative peace.
Goodnight.
posted by BanAnna at 7/09/2014 07:10:00 am
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