forgiveness

Last night the mood began to thaw. There may even have been a smile of old as we sprawled, or more precisely lay crammed in our tiny bathtub.
It may be surprising, but I'm not very good at talking. I know that once words are out there there's no taking them back, and sometimes I'm terrified of the answer they might bring.
And this morning, in the milky darkness of the bedroom, when the alarm went at 7 (on a Saturday!!) he took my arm and curled it around him and I felt humbled and quietly happy.

This year has not got off to a good start and I wonder sometimes why that is. I don't think being homesick is sufficient excuse for all the apparent damage.

There's a light on in a kitchen across the courtyard from us- early on a weekend morning, I wonder what grey monsters lurk in their lives? I should be happy, I know that...but even knowing that, sometimes I just feel too tired to care about what comes next. And more than too tired, I just feel like I can't be bothered. This scares the shit out of me. Where did that old zing get to?