I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new


That's where I'm at. Head so full thoughts are painting tattoos down my cheeks.


It has been a tough couple of days. Unbelievably busy - my calendar is starting to resemble Dave's, and if I could just take away some of the stress and pressure from my dearest team mates, but I can't. In fact I fear I've added to it.
So many alternate realities have presented themselves to me, and too often, I am too scared. But in reality it's not really me who is scared.

"You said I love you. Why is it that the most unoriginal thing we can say to one another is still the thing we long to hear? (When you said it, my heart was in my throat, and I was sitting on the stairs, wishing the whole world was a different colour and you were different with it)I love you is always a quotation. You did not say it first and neither did I, yet when you say it and when I say it we speak like savages who have found three words and worship them. I did worship them, but now i am alone on a rock hewn out of my own body.
Love demands expression (how could I possibly keep it secret). It will not stay still, stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no. It will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid."...

Tonight Perth put on a light show as I drove south, and you were on every street corner, watching. I drove to Sah's, and we had cheese on toast and fartmakingbeans and wine and talked. And in the view of my blessed city, sadly, none of my confusion dissipated, but I felt grateful for the night.

I'm home now, and feeling fluey and a bit feral but somehow stronger.