Love and avoidance

Of what meaning, what significance is propriety, is the good opinion of others, when your own family is popping apart at the seams?
A difficult time was had, visiting family last week in Transylvania.

I had had a difficult night with B the night before, and although we'd made up more or less, I left i n less than good spirits on the Thursday. My taxi driver was a wonderful flirt, with a birthday on a Hungarian national holiday, but all good mood turned sour again when the plane was delayed 45 minutes, meaning I would miss my bus connection from Marosvasarhely to Kolozsvar.
I stormed out of the airport in a huff, only to hear a tower of a man asking in Hungarian, if anyone needs a taxi. I shot my hand up and away we went. When I asked when the next bus to Kolozsvar would be, he shook his head. Around 6pm. Just as I thought. He offered to take me all the 120km to Kolozsvar for 200RON, and although it's a reckless spending of money, I thought fuckit, and said yeah.
This taxi driver was also born on a Hungarian national holiday, and while not flirty (it would have been hard to keep up over an hour and a half) he talked and talked and talked, and by the time he dropped me off in the traffic clogged town centre, I felt okay.

But only until I got to my grandparents' house. Both of them were sick, the mood was deep gray, but in a pitiful way, and the first night passed with not much cheer.
I often feel, when I'm there, that I'm on a kind of display. All the praise, all the constricting love, all the questions. I suppose it's what I must expect, considering I only see them once or twice a year, but this time it felt tiring and trying.

Nothing much happened over those five days. I ate little, which was a definite positive, as I seem to have overcome my acid problem, and then on day four I got so sick I hugged the toilet for dear life but god it was good to come home. The whole trip was far more expensive than it had to be, and exhausting and sad, but I guess this month and a bit I have left before Australia will be difficult with family no matter what.

Since then it's been work and cooking, and looking after B who seemed to catch the lurgy from me. Now I'm about to go to Jutka's for coffee (or decaf, in my case) and then finally, a weekend that it just a weekend. I finished all my work yesterday night.

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