Sleep

Eludes me. And I don't know why...

The weekend was full, and active (especially Saturday) and I got an early night last night yet still, my eyes opened at 330 and there was no going back to sleep. I finished the Shiralee, just in time for bookclub on Wednesday. I'll write about it on my book blog (www.wordsfromwest.blogspot.com). I need to get a wriggle-on with that as well, feel like I haven't been on a computer non-work-wise in months.

So, I went to a play on Friday night called The Disappearances Act - I think a brave attempt to show what effect a missing person has on a small rural community. I say brave because it was just two actors, sitting in front of a screen, and talking. And while the subject matter is worthy, and important and harrowing, the words themselves didn't entirely do enough to carry it as a piece of theatre. I left a little deflated. The Blackcurrants and I did end up having a good talk until about midnight, which was the perfect way to finish off the week.

On Saturday morning I went to Lake Monger for a run. I figure if I'm set on doing the 10km Rotto run this year, I should really get a little training in. And off I waddled. I did two laps (about 6.8km) walking some of it, but pretty pleased with my efforts. I plan on going again today, as soon as the sun rises.

Afterwards I went stealthily to IKEA, early enough that I was in and out in 20 minutes, armed with a wire draw set for my wardrobe to keep the smalls and lacies. My room is now tidy (seriously, it's true!).
Then we went to the Paddo for lunch and footy (it's become a bit of a tradition already, as Geelong games often aren't shown live and besides, the pub atmosphere is great). We played Melbourne (those poor bastards) and it wasn't really even a competition. The score at the end was 233 d 47.
At home we packed things for a barbecue and when Kym and Libby arrived we set off for Yanchep. I had never been to the national park proper- M and I had been to the Lagoon but that's all.
And in the national park: there are KOALAS!!

Our barbecue by the lake was windy but delicious, and surrounded by active birdlife. Later we drove to the Gingin observatory, where we were treated to intermittent views of the staggerinly beautiful night sky, viewed through five different telescopes. I saw two shooting stars and made my romantic wishes accordingly.

Yesterday was a day of garbage collection which started as garage sales, but degenerated into gleeful picking through people's bulk waste collection piles around Duncraig and Carine. We came home with a bootful of treasures.

And now - I'm awake, waiting for the sun to rise, wondering why sleep has been so fickle.
Voicebox tonight, so I'm going to write up some scribbles from Friday and try and prepare before I go off to AIM for my Change Management course. All good things.

My life is full of words again.

A 'winter' storm rages outside - Cleaver Street sways in the mottled streetlight, trees shake off their wet leaves and the thunder growls deeply.

Yesterday I went to my first ever Change Management conference/seminar. Not to present of course, but to listen and learn and god lately I am learning so much! Afterwards we went to a bar called the Greenhouse. It had (for me) a real Melbourne feeling. And I loved dear old Perth even more then.

Lately I've been to the theatre a few times, and it, together with the words, is making me feel vastly more alive than i have in quite some time.

Work continues to be amazing. Really challenging, but full of smiles and satisfaction.

And even after all this time, all this brackish water under the bridge, M continues to be the only occupant of my full little heart.

Since the Blackcurrants and I have moved in together, most of my nights are busy. THe laptop lives again, but I hardly ever use it. So much else going on.
Readings and book club and gym and outdoor films (yes, in winter) and running and zumba and Miami Vice. Don Johnson...what a man!

Voicebox

I went back to Open Mic yesterday. The event has moved from the small Tropicana Cafe to Clancy's Fish Pub in Freo, and the crowd was big and I was terrified, but it was wonderful.
The Blackcurrants were there, along with CC and his tall mate Crispin (who I hadn't met until that night). Two of the poems were less than a week old, and by the time I got up on the stage I felt alright. Memories of the Poetry caff in London and the support and wonder I experienced there flashed through me, and I did well. I'm not yet at the stage of performing the poems without paper, but I will get there. And the audience's reaction was just gorgeous. From the huge cello playing poet Kevin Gillam, to Kate Wilson, people came up to me as they had at Pirra Homestead and said thank you. It's a beautiful thing.
And CC was right in his text today - I was so full of joy and energy, it was a wonderful night.

Otherwise, life is full and rapidly changing.

I've moved in with the Blackcurrants to a townhouse just down the street from where I was before. I have a big carpeted bedroom and a balcony, and a beautiful huge kitchen, and a loft where my easel waits, paitently for my inspiration and my bravery to climb the ladder.

Last week I told M on the phone (on the fucking phone, what am I? Hugh?) that it just wasn't working and wouldn't work and I am broken again. But the less I think about it I guess the better I am. And Nickiy was right when she said going back would simply be the path of least resistance. I have to remind myself why I left in the first place. I can't be burdened with guilt and regret forever. I miss him, and part of my hurt is that he's hurting. But this too shall pass. I have said that before, haven't I?

But the best thing of all now is the job. My new job. Only a two month opportunity for now, but if I kick arse then hopefully I can land it for the life of the project.

Change Management. Imagine that for Banana! The project team I am working with is wonderful, young and energetic. Sarah J and I have become friends very quickly, and I love working in a team where I am treated like an equal.
My brain is exhausted for all the new things to be learned, but also the happiest it has been in ten years.

Perth sighs under the cracking weight of a winter chill and I climb steadily toward better days.